Flower Power
by Silent Sky
Summary: Inuyasha comes face to face with his greatest foe yet: the dark, the cunning, the terrible, the underhanded and undefeatable . . . flower? What happens when you mix one sneaky flower, some nasty powder, and one hanyou? To sum it up in one word: chaos.


**A/N:** What happens when you drink far too much pop, eat way too much pizza, watch three hours of anime, start listening to crazy music, and sit down at a computer at four in the morning? . . . This.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.

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Flower Power

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Inuyasha and the gang were traveling through yet another field. Following the rumours of yet another jewel shard. And having another truly pointless conversation about Naraku and his possible whereabouts.

"We haven't seen a trace of Naraku in ages." Miroku said soberly. "Who knows where he is?"

"Do you think we'll ever find him?" Shippo chirped uselessly.

Inuyasha ground his teeth in annoyance as the senseless discussion continued.

"Well, with the barrier Naraku puts around his castle," Sango mused for the millionth time, "it's highly unlikely that we'll ever be able to find him except on the nights when his power wanes."

"But even so," Kagome babbled, entering the futile debate, "Naraku chooses when he looses his powers. It could happen anytime, and if we're not nearby when he does it . . ."

"Be that as it may . . ."

As the Miroku began yet another harangue about Naraku and his weaknesses and strengths and all that other crap, Inuyasha allowed the others to draw ahead of him. He had no patience for their worthless prattling right now. He was in no mood to think about Naraku at present. Letting his thoughts wander, he let himself fall farther and farther behind the others, wanting some peace and quiet from their inane babbling. Why did humans have to talk so much?

As he peered idly about at his surroundings, a blur of colour caught his eye.

"What's that?" he murmured as he wandered off the path toward the brightly coloured patch of flowers in the field. The others, heedless of his wandering, kept going.

Wading though the knee-high grass, Inuyasha came upon a huge flower. Gazing at it suspiciously, he examined it from a distance.

It looked like a giant rose, about half his height. The inner sides of the petals were a vibrant pink, the outside a bright purple. The center of the flower was sun-yellow, and the stem and large leaves a lime green. It was the gaudiest flower he had ever seen. And oddly, it didn't have a scent. No fragrance at all.

Just as he turned away, bored with the stupid flower, it twitched.

Inuyasha whirled back to flower, staring at it intently. It remained perfectly still. Had it really moved? Or had it just been the breeze? Realizing that there had been no breeze all day, Inuyasha cautiously watched the flower for a minute or two more. Shaking his head, he mentally booted himself for being scared of a _flower_.

With an annoyed huff, he stomped over to the flower and poked it with one claw. Its large bulk wobbled slightly on its flimsy stem, but it did nothing more.

"Stupid flower," Inuyasha grumbled, taking a closer look.

Poking it again, he stuck his face over the opening of the petals to peer inside the blossom

And then the flower burped.

With a squelching sound, the flower belched out a large puff of yellow powder right into Inuyasha's face.

"Ack!" he spluttered. Coughing and sneezing as the heady aroma overwhelmed his delicate nose, he stumbled backwards, tripping on a clump of grass. He tumbled to the ground.

But as he sat there, legs sprawled in front of him, arms propping him up as he leaned slightly backwards, staring at the once again inanimate flower, the strangest sensation overcame him.

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"Where's Inuyasha?"

Miroku stopped in mid-sentence, also looking around. "He's gone." The monk exclaimed in astonishment. "Where'd he go?"

Kagome looked around again, feeling slightly worried. "It's not like Inuyasha to wander off," she muttered.

"Do you think something's happened to him?" Shippo whined worriedly.

"I don't know." Sango said slowly. "Maybe we should backtrack a bit. He might have just fallen behind."

Kagome and Miroku nodded. They all started out at a fast walk, heading back down the path. Kagome looked around, really worried now. What was going on? Why would Inuyasha leave them without saying anything?

"Look!" Shippo shrieked. Everyone whirled to peer in the direction Shippo was pointing.

Out in the middle of the meadow was an odd blob of bright colours. And beside it was blob of red and silver.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled. Without wasting a second, she tore off through the field.

"Kagome, wait!"

"Wait for us!"

She ignored the yells of her friends. Coming to skidding halt, she stopped a couple feet from the hanyou. He was lying sprawled on his back next to a huge colourful flower, staring unblinkingly at the blue sky.

"Inuyasha?" she asked, kneeling beside him.

He blinked and looked at her. He then promptly went back to staring aimlessly at the sky.

Sango, Miroku, and Shippo came up behind her. "Inuyasha?" they asked in unison, puzzled.

Waving her hand in front of his eyes, Kagome tried to get his attention. "Inuyasha, are you all right?"

He blinked and looked at her again, his eyes slightly unfocused, then shrugged and resumed his staring.

She exchanged a worried look with the others. "Inuyasha," she tried again, "are you okay? How do you feel?"

He blinked once more and again looked at her. "Feel?" he echoed stupidly. His voice sounded strange.

"Yes, how do you _feel_?" Kagome repeated.

He blinked again. "Fuzzy."

Kagome's jaw dropped. "Fuzzy?" They all stared at the hanyou.

"Mmm," he murmured in agreement, resuming his scrutiny of the sky. "All fuzzy and warm."

Miroku knelt on the other side of Inuyasha as Kagome struggled to gather her wits and close her mouth.

"Inuyasha, what happened to you?"

"Fuzzy . . ."

"Yes, I know that. Why?"

Inuyasha gave him a blank look. "The flower." He gestured vaguely at the huge monstrosity at his feet. "The flower spit on me," he suddenly jerked to a sitting position, staring in stupefied awe at the flower, "and everything went fuzzy and warm." He giggled insanely.

Kagome, who had just managed to rehinge her jaw, started gaping all over again. Was she losing her mind? Had Inuyasha just . . . giggled?

"Oh dear," Miroku sighed.

Sango came over to stand beside Kagome. Shippo, perched on her shoulder, was still speechless. "Yes," the slayer said, "this is not good. Look, there's some kind of yellow powder all over the place. Inuyasha must have gotten a face full of it."

"So what's wrong with him?" Shippo whimpered, staring at Inuyasha like he was a giant slug or some other unfathomable creature.

Kagome and the others all looked at each other. "Now what?"

"Well," Sango said slowly, "I guess we just wait for the effects of the powder to wear off. We should get him away from that flower though."

"Okay," Kagome said slowly, looking uncertainly at Inuyasha, who was now gaping wondrously at the grass as though he'd just discovered its existence. She cautiously approached the hanyou. He completely ignored her, now examining a small pebble like it was a priceless jewel. "Um, Inuyasha? It's . . . uh, it's time to go now."

He blinked stupidly again, and gazed up at her, his mouth hanging open. "Go? Go where?" he looked around. "But I don't wanna go!" he whined like a two-year-old.

Her mind raced as she tried to think of a way to entice the hanyou to follow them. Trying to force the bemused half-demon to come with them would not be fun.

"Um, uh, 'cause it's lunchtime!" she exclaimed on a sudden brainwave.

"Lunch?" The hanyou's ears immediately perked up.

"But, um, we have to go get the food. It's not here. Come along now."

Inuyasha slowly rose to feet as though he never walked a step in his life.

"Quick thinking, Kagome," Sango whispered. "Now we just have to keep his attention long enough to get him away from here."

Kagome nodded.

Inuyasha was now staring at Kilala like an angel descended from the heavens. The demon cat mewled at him.

Inuyasha giggled again.

A smile tugged at Kagome's lips even as her brain stuttered to a halt for what seemed the hundredth time in the last five minutes.

She reached for his sleeve, intending to pull him along. But as her fingers brushed his sleeve, Inuyasha leaped—literally—three feet into the air with a screech like a dying owl.

He whirled around to face her. He froze, staring at her as though he'd just seen her for the first time.

With a wholly goofy grin, he cocked his to the side like a bird.

"Hello."

After a moment, he reached out a finger and tapped her chin. She snapped her mouth shut. She then exchanged worried—though rather amused—glances with the others.

With another mad giggle, Inuyasha took off after a passing butterfly.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, charging after him, "Come back!"

Luckily, it appeared that Inuyasha's body was just as scrambled as his mind, since his path through the flowery meadow was even more erratic than the butterfly's.

As he wobbled and meandered through the flowers, laughing crazily, Kagome finally caught up with him. Panting, she grabbed his arm again.

"Ahhhhhhh!" he screamed, twisting out of grip. "What are you doing?" he squealed.

Squealed?

"I thought you wanted to eat, Inuyasha. Come with me, and you'll get some food."

"Food? You have food?"

His attention span, normally quite short, now seemed to last no longer than thirty seconds. "Yes."

"Give it!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I—I . . . not here! We have to—"

Inuyasha waited no longer than that. With a bellow like a cow in heat, he pounced on her.

"Kagome!"

As Inuyasha landed on her chest, flattening her on the ground and knocking the wind out of her, before promptly starting to paw at her clothes looking for food, she prayed Sango and Miroku would arrive as fast as humanly possible.

"Inuyasha! Stop it! I don't have food _on_ me!" She desperately batted at his hands, trying to keep his roaming fingers from wandering to certain places she would much rather he did _not_ touch.

"Inuyasha, get off her!" Just as Inuyasha claws started to shred her shirt, Miroku and Sango grabbed Inuyasha and hauled him off her, along with a large chunk of the hem of her blouse.

The half-demon immediately began howling like a child's whose favourite toy had been taken away.

Kagome rose to her feet, covering her ears. How could one person make such so much noise? As they all shrunk away from the hanyou, trying to plug theirs ears, Inuyasha's shrieking actually reached a new pitch. In desperation, Miroku waved his staff in front of Inuyasha's face, the rattling metal circles instantly catching his attention. The sudden silence felt almost oppressive as they hanyou focused on the rattling, watched the waving staff with his mouth hanging open in wonder.

"Ooooooooo."

A sudden movement caught her eye. A rabbit serenely hopped by, ten feet behind Inuyasha. Kagome prayed Inuyasha wouldn't notice. The oblivious rabbit meandered along, not knowing that it was risking all the nearby humans fainting, as they were all holding their breath waiting for it to be on its way.

'_Damn you!'_ Kagome thought_, 'You're a rabbit, not a turtle! Now make with some swiftness already!'_

"Shoo!" She hissed when it stopped to nibble some grass. Big mistake. Inuyasha immediately whirled in the direction she was looking. His sudden movement, of course, caused the rabbit to finally run away. And, of course, that made Inuyasha run after it.

Determined not to chase after the hanyou again, Kagome resolved to do whatever it took to stop him this time.

"Inuyasha," she yelled at the top of her lungs, "sit!"

She watched in quiet satisfaction as he slammed into the ground. As she trotted over to him, she wondered what they would do now. Once the spell wore off, how were they going to keep Inuyasha occupied until the hanyou regained his senses? With a resigned sigh, she realized they had no idea how long that was going to take.

Crouching down beside the hanyou, she looked into his face. He appeared to be staring at the ground an inch in front of his nose, his eyes nearly crossed, an expression of utter puzzlement on his face.

"Inuyasha? You okay?"

He sat up and looked at her. "Fuzzy," he mumbled, staring off into space.

"Yes, fuzzy. Come on."

She pulled him to his feet. When he saw Sango coming over, his eyes widened in surprise. He slowly walked over to the demon slayer, stopping with his nose a breath away from hers, an expression of intense concentration on his face.

Sango stared back at him warily. "Inu . . . Yasha?" she asked slowly.

The hanyou abruptly turned away, wrinkling his nose. "Ewwwww."

Sango's expression became slightly insulted.

"Inuyasha," Kagome said desperately as the hanyou's attention was captured by yet another insect. Where were all these damn insects coming from! "Inuyasha, why—what do you want to do now?" she asked, praying it something that was remotely possible.

The hanyou turned from watching the bug intently to stare at Kagome, his expression frighteningly thoughtful.

"Sing," he commanded.

They all stared at him. He stared right back at them. "Sing a song."

"Oh, kami," Miroku muttered.

"Don't know that one. How does it go?"

"Um, Inuyasha . . ." Kagome trailed off, having no clue as to what they should do with him now.

The hanyou was now staring at a hawk in the sky. "Can I jump that high?" he murmured thoughtfully to himself, his eyes lighting with excitement.

"No!" everyone yelled at once.

"I can't?"

"No!" Kagome decided they had better distract him before he tried. "Um, Inuyasha, how about we . . ." She tried to think of how her mother had amused Sota when he was young. "Do you want to hear a story?"

He tore his gaze away from the hawk and peered stupidly at her. "A story? About what?"

"Uh, whatever you want."

"I want . . ." he paused, staring at her strangely again. He cocked his head and smiled a somewhat creepy smile. "A dog."

Kagome sighed. Why was she not surprised? "All right. Once upon a time there was a dog who, um, a dog who, um, who . . ."

Why hadn't she paid more attention in preschool?

Inuyasha, of course, immediately lost interest, and was trotting off before anyone noticed.

"Inuyasha!" they yelled, running after him.

He took one look at them all charging after him, then sprinted away, laughing like maniac.

"Sit!"

When they finally caught up to him, Inuyasha had dragged himself into a sitting position, and was staring at his own hands as though he'd only just noticed them.

Huffing, Kagome braced her hands on her knees and glared at the hanyou.

"You owe us big time, Inuyasha!" she snarled, even knowing it was pointless to talk to him right now.

"Mmm. Fuzzy."

Kagome sighed.

"Now what?" Sango asked.

Shippo, meanwhile, had crept around and was peering into Inuyasha's face cautiously. Inuyasha mindlessly stared right back, then cocked his head.

Faster than the eye, the hanyou's hand shot out, and he caught Shippo by the tail.

"Whaaah! Kagome, help! Help!"

Inuyasha, with a puzzled frown, started shaking the kitsune up and down violently by the tail, as thought expecting salt and pepper to pour out the bottom.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled.

He, predictably, just ignored her, continuing to shake the kitsune, who continued to howl at the top of his lungs.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried desperately, grabbing his arm. And, of course, she simply got jerked up and down, her strength not even enough resistance for Inuyasha to notice. Her teeth rattling, she let go, looking around desperately. "Inuyasha!" she yelled, "Look!" She pointed at a man-sized boulder twenty yards away.

Inuyasha froze, staring at the rock. His expression suddenly darkened, and he rose to his feet with much of his usual grace, dropping Shippo. His eyes were locked on the boulder.

Grabbing the bawling Shippo, Kagome took a wary step. She knew that look, but . . .

With a snarl, Inuyasha's hand closed on the hilt of Tetsusaiga, his expression suggesting that he had just spotted a beast so foul that not even the deepest pits of hell were adequate punishment for its unparalleled sinfulness.

Kagome swallowed nervously. Why hadn't they thought to take Tetsusaiga away from him!

Because the last thing they needed was a full-fledged demon high on pollen running around lusting for their blood?

Inuyasha took a menacing step forward.

They all looked from the rock to Inuyasha and back again.

"Inuya—" Miroku started.

With a bloodcurdling howl, Inuyasha charged the boulder. Whipping the sword out of its sheath in a burst of golden light, Inuyasha raised the blade over his head, bringing it down with lethal force on the evil rock.

And completely missed.

With jarring impact, the sword hit the ground, cutting a yard deep gash in the turf. Inuyasha crashed to the ground after the sword, tumbling head over heels and landing flat on his back.

Kagome skidded to stop beside him. "Inuyasha, are you okay?"

The hanyou stared up at the puffy white clouds, his expression completely and utterly vacant.

"Inuyasha?"

No answer.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?"

"Mmm."

"Inuyasha?"

"Fuzzy."

Kagome heaved another sigh.

After three or four minutes of mindless staring, Inuyasha shook himself like a dog, then hauled himself to his feet. He looked around blankly, then smiled delightedly and picked up the Tetsusaiga.

Kagome silently swore. Now what?

But Inuyasha's attention was now wholly absorbed in watching the swirls of wind encircling the broad blade. After a moment, he started snatching at the currents with one hand, holding the sword aloft with the other.

Kagome sighed wearily, hoping for a short respite before the tireless hanyou took off again.

Miroku and Sango stood beside her, Shippo and Kilala a little further back—preferring to keep a safe distance.

Kagome suddenly noticed the silence. She quickly turned. Inuyasha was staring at a patch of ground ten feet in front of him, a look of abject terror on his face.

Kagome's eyes searched the ground. Now what!

A slight movement. Kagome blinked, squinting hard. Another faint movement, and the tiniest of squeaks.

A minuscule field mouse snuffled happily in the grass, oblivious to the humans and hanyou watching it intently.

Inuyasha had paled to a shade whiter than snow, and his expression had gone from terror to near panic. Kagome blinked again. Was he afraid of a mouse?

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked warily.

As though her voice was some kind of trigger, Inuyasha shot to his feet with a terrified screech, dropping the Tetsusaiga. Screaming bloody murder, he bolted.

And smashed right into her.

"Aaarrrrhhh!" Kagome screamed as the hanyou unintentionally bowled her over in his panicked attempt to escape the mouse from hell.

She landed hard on her back, the air whooshing out of her.

"Kagome! Stop him!" Sango yelled desperately.

Kagome gasped ineffectually, trying to force her lungs to work again. After a moment, when she was once again breathing at least somewhat regularly, she hauled herself to her feet, her eyes scanning the tree line.

She turned just in time to catch a flash of red as Inuyasha disappeared into the waiting forest.

Silence. They all looked at one other for a long moment.

"Inuyasha!" They all screamed, tearing off after the hanyou.

It took them three hours to find him, even with Kilala following his scent. As the sun set behind the trees, Kagome pushed a branch aside and peered into the small clearing. Inuyasha was sitting waste deep in a pond, staring at her in absolute confusion.

She sighed. "Inuyasha . . ."

He blinked as Sango, Miroku, and Shippo pushed more branches aside and came to stand beside her, all heaving sighs of relief.

"Finally, we found him," Miroku said wearily.

Inuyasha looked from one of them to the other, his expression of confusion deepening.

"Um, Kagome, how did I get here? What's going on? I don't remember anything . . ."

Kagome's eyes widened. He was back to normal! The water must have washed the power off. And he didn't remember . . .

She began to laugh. She clutched her stomach, laughing harder and harder. After a moment, Sango and Shippo started to laugh too, Miroku joining a minute later. They laughed until they collapsed, and then laughed some more.

Inuyasha sat in the pool, watching them, confusion and irritation warring in his eyes. Eventually, when their laughter showed no sign of abating, he slowly rose to his feet, straightened his clothes, and stalked past them with as much dignity as he could muster.

As he passed them, Kagome distinctly heard him mutter angrily, "humans!"

She just laughed all the harder. It served him right, she decided, because she suspected that, on some deeper level, Inuyasha had been laughing at them the whole time.

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The End

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**A/N:** I wrote this for purely entertainment purposes. But, because of the nature of the story, being somewhat outside of my normal field of writing, I feel the need to assert that, no, I was not drunk, high, stoned, or under the influence of any narcotics at the time. I might have been, however, somewhat sugar-high. That's all, I swear. Honestly! _:shifty look:_ Nobody understands me . . . _:wink:_


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